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yasu ka kazu trickylady wrote in jent_fanfics
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JunxSho angsty fic coming at ya! - Oneshot
Title: This box of ice inside.
Author: moi, don't you love me? <3
Pairing: JunxSho
Rating: PG-13 for suggestive themes
Genre: Angst
Disclaimer: I own not even my words.
Summary: Jun and Sho push each other away, unknowingly.
Notes: Inspired by a song called 'Ice box' --look it up on Youtube.
Unbeta-d please excuse me, and feel free to be my beta? ^-^v




This box of ice inside.

As I descend into this madness, I remember the good times we had together, those were the real memories. Not like the brief moments we spend in front of a camera, pretending we still care. I don't know when we became so distant, but I'd give anything to go back to how we were before.

I apologize; if ever I did something hurtful, if ever my words caused you to shed a tear, but I fear it's already too late for my words to make a difference.

~~~

This tension was unreal; thicker than blood, tears and skin, all the things we've given up for each other over the years. Just looking into his eyes, I can see the hurt. The smugness is simply a cover for his anger and sorrow. I suddenly despise our memories because of these changes I've noticed in him.

He entered the dressing room, for the last time that day, not even glancing over at me. Although I'm a coward and I may be weak, I know when something is wrong and I always try to fix it. Calmly, he decided to speak first.

"Sho."

"Jun."

"See you on Shukudai tomorrow."

"Can't wait."

His eyes widened as he threw on his long black cloak. I lost sight of them once his sunglasses and earphones were added. How I missed looking into them. But, an unexpected occurrence; he seemed surprised. I finally succeeded in catching his attention.

~~~

I was sick of being awkward around him, it was going to end one way or another. I would force it upon him if I had to. Though there's many people who believe he is truly sadistic, I know him. And, me being his senior, he would accept any decision I would take. (Especially if he knew it would create a better relationship within Arashi.)

I do know him, unlike what most people believe. I know every emotion he possesses, every inch of his delicate skin and the heartaches he has gained over time. I know all these things and they make me love him more. But, for the life of me, I can't figure out what I've done.

I don't know where his brick wall, his icy insides, his cold exterior came from.

I will fix it though.

~~~

The filming of our show nearly over, I anticipated trying to crack his hard shell. Mentally prepared to battle his quick wit, I was frightened by how much physical strength he might have acquired since the last time we fought (which is a long story I can't get into right now).

Ogura-san waved us off, the room slowly emptying of the audience it had. Aiba and Ohmiya slipped backstage, discussing the food they had discovered today. I exhaled loudly, trying to get up my courage.

I think he felt it, he knew my plans already. This was the trouble of being as close as Arashi is; everyone could sense each other's moods and thoughts. With his eyes locked onto mine, he waited in the darkness corner of our shukudai set. I was almost afraid not to go talk to him now.

Everyone has heard of the wrath he has contained within himself, but no one has really experienced it first hand (except me, but that's another story and I was drunk).

I stagger over to him, pretending his glare didn't even phase me when, of course, it was burning a hole in my head. I force a smile in his direction. He turns his face, a hand pushing away strands of untamed hair. God I miss touching this man.

"Sho, was there a reason you were looking forward to today?"

"Well, seeing you for one."

"You see me all the time, tell the truth Sho." The annoyance in Jun's voice slightly discouraged me from speaking my mind. I had made it so far already, I refused to give up just yet.

"Honestly, I just wanted to speak with you more than we usually do."

"I don't have much time, I have to pack for my flight to Vegas."

"I'll try to make it brief then." I rubbed at my bottom lip with my thumb, trying to come up with the best words possible. The worst thing I could do would be to piss off Jun more.

"Matsujun, have I done something to you?"

Jun's brow furrowed. I hoped I hadn't upset him further.

"Meaning...?"

"Did I say something that caused our relationship to die off like this?"

"No."

"Can you tell me what I did then?"

"You ignored me when I needed you the most. You made me feel worthless."

"What? When?"

He sighed looking up at the ceiling. "About 3 years ago."

"Was this just one time?"

"It doesn't matter how many fuckin' times it was!" He put his sunglasses on, knowing I couldn't read him anymore like this.

"I mean, come on, you can't hold a grudge for one thing!"

"I can and I will."

He threw his bag over his shoulder and stormed away faster than I could grab his wrist. And with his monotone statement, I stood there, dumbfounded, unsure of what my next move should be. My pressure was dropping; tormented with the whole situation, my body decided to let go.

And then I saw nothing. Nothing at all except darkness.

~~~

I couldn't open my eyes no matter how hard I tried. A hand caressed my cheek where someone's tear had just fallen. I wondered who had called an ambulance for me in the first place. I'm usually the leader, I'm usually the caregiver of the group.

Who had taken my place?

"Sho..."

Their voice cracked, another tear of theirs glided down my cheek. It was warm and caring, it sent shivers down my spine instantly, reminding me of the good old days.

"Sho, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I really do love you."

It was Jun.

I still couldn't fully control my muscles, but I searched for his hand placed on my face. He grabbed it nervously, sniffling as he bent down to kiss my forehead. At long last, my nerves loosened up and I blinked the darkness away.

"Jun.."

He inched his face closer to mine, kissing me once more. "Yes Sho, I'm here."

"What about your plane to Vegas?"

"It'll have to wait. My lover needs me now." He smiled at me, like he did when we were teenagers.


//End//




comments are ♥

x-posted arashirabu

I love you!! <3333333

Thanks for sharing this fic!! It's angsty, but somehow, it's fluffy. *grin*

Ah, i can't decide. ^__^

hahahah ♥

I know...it's not as angsty as my usual angst...LOL.
maybe 'cause Sho is the narrator..xD

glad you liked it. -hugs- <3

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