Joyologists (Arashi)
Blue and Flawless blueandflawless wrote in jent_fanfics
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How Nino Got Into Jun's Pants (With a Great Deal of Sneaking and Persistence)
Title: How Nino Got Into Jun's Pants (With a Great Deal of Sneaking and Persistence)
Fandom: Arashi, Nino/Jun
Rating: PG-13 for language and implied sexual situations
Note: For flamesword
Summary:



The thing about Nino that most annoys Jun (and that is saying something) is that Nino is exactly the same in bed as out of it.

"Elbows and knees, Jun-tan." Nino grinned and lightly slapped the left side of Jun's ass.

Jun wasn't sure which part of that statement should most annoy him. He sighed and shot Nino an evil look while levering himself onto his elbows. "My back feels good. Don't let me enjoy it or anything."

Nino leered at Jun and tugged his own cock, smacked Jun's other ass cheek for variety. "I know what you enjoy." And then, in a loud and annoying sing-song over Jun's attempts at protest, "Don't bother trying to deny it!" He hooked his hands under Jun's hips and hauled Jun up into position.

The trouble was, Jun really did like it. Nino had an almost creepy hyper-awareness of people when he decided to focus, which made his bed no place for the timid. He was the only person, for example, that had ever discovered Jun's thing about his hips.

-----

Jun supposed that, for most people, the neck was the major erogenous zone after the actual genitalia. It took him longer to realize this than he wanted to admit, because, for Jun, someone kissing his neck was a lot like someone kissing his forearm -- nice, but only vaguely interesting. His hips, on the other hand.... Those were body parts Jun could get excited about.

Nino, the little shit, had discovered this through pure observation. When Sho slipped a hand around Jun's waist and Jun's skin quivered involuntarily, Nino noticed. When Ohno used firm hands on Jun's hips to sync them as they danced, Jun raised his arms and tipped his head back and Nino was watching. And when Jun bit his lip at the camera while Aiba, shirtless, slid his hand down Jun's side and rested it against the band of Jun's slipping D&G's, well, Nino wore such a look of innocent, benevolent peace that every instinct in Jun's head screamed DANGER.

So of course suddenly Nino couldn't stop touching Jun. Ridiculous little fingers wormed their way against Jun's skin at every inappropriate opportunity, the insult compounded by Nino's ability to make his advances completely invisible to casual scrutiny. Jun spent about a week cursing mentally and reminding himself like a mantra that ignoring Nino was the worst punishment you could possibly give him, and if you managed to ignore him longer then he managed to torment you he would eventually have a massive pout and go annoy someone like Sho for a while. (Sho's personal best for ignoring Nino was eight seconds, and only because Sho was reading the newspaper.)

Jun mentally chanted IGNOREIGNOREIGNORE during photoshoots. Jun gritted his teeth through interviews.

But when it suddenly clicked in Jun's mind that Nino had stopped biting his nails, on purpose, the better to torment Jun with all Jun's painful patience was at an end. Jun whirled on Nino, advancing inexorably until he was trapped by Jun's forearms against the nearest wall. Jun smiled a smile that had nothing to do with happiness and leaned slowly in until his mouth was against Nino's ear.

"Is this the reaction you were looking for, Nino-chan?"

The silence from three startled bandmates, four cameramen, two sound guys, one cohost, two guest-stars, the director, and an entire studio audience was deafening. Jun could feel Nino's grin against his jaw, and Nino's thigh nudging just slightly.

"I think I can work with it."

Jun pulled back far enough to look Nino narrowly in the eye. Nino grinned back at him. Jun took a moment to choke down a wordless spasm of frustrated rage, then turned away to bow and apologize to everyone he could think of. He bonelessly insinuated himself between Onho and Aiba for the rest of the shoot. It was, of course, and accident that his spiky silver thumb ring got caught in Nino's hair as he turned away.

After fleeing the studio, Jun had a few days' grace; there were no group activities scheduled until the beginning of the next tour. He almost didn't have to think about Nino at all, except for a text message on the second night that said, "Come drinking with me," and was complete with animated hearts and beaming grins. Jun messaged back, "You don't drink," in plain text, and then cheerfully blocked Nino's number.

Three days into their tour and the burning question in Jun's mind was how Nino managed to make it impossible for Jun to avoid him onstage. They were playing Domes, after all. The stage was on three levels and moved. Onho seemed to be getting in the way and snickering a lot, too, and Jun was nursing a cheerful loathing for both of them (he sourly decided that the next time someone asked him what Nino's secret was, Jun was going to just answer "Ohno"). Nino had managed to give Jun no less than two visible erections during the course of the night's performance. Possibly more. Jun could only be thankful that there were no company recordings for him to check. He refused to even consider what some gleeful fan might have caught with her cellphone.

The steady diet of performance adrenaline combined with the constant threat of very public embarrassment from Nino's quarter left Jun a quivering ball of nerves every night, and no amount of herbal bath infusions or scented candles seemed to help. Jun dreamed of being on camera, trying to act with a ferret down his pants.

He woke from the dream with a shudder. It was immediately clear that there was, figuratively speaking, a ferret in his pants. Nino must have pulled the bedclothes down by centimeters to avoid waking him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jun felt good about the conversational tone.

"If you don't know..." Nino didn't bother to finish and did it again, scraping his teeth over the hollow just inside Jun's left hipbone.

"Why are you doing it?" Jun tried again, a little less composed.

"You don't know that either? I thought Jun was supposed to be so sensitive of others." Jun thought the grin made Nino look exactly like the little shit he was.

Jun started to reply but got sidetracked by Nino's fingernails. A little later, though, he managed to prop himself up and demand, "Hey, are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"You're about to find out, aren't you?"

Jun began, "Who have you..." but he abandoned his question in favor of some deeply heartfelt cursing. In retrospect Jun thought it was just as well. He didn't suppose Nino had ever had cause to knead anyone's hips like that before anyway.

Once Jun's breathless string of invectives had died down, Nino pitched sideways onto the bed. He was giggling at "Damn, that face you made!" but Jun was too relaxed to do more than flop a backhand in his general direction.

"Fucker," Jun said, without heat.

"You didn't used to be such a literalist," grinned Nino.

------

Nothing had changed appreciably since. Jun was still avoiding Nino's wicked fingers; Nino was still an asshole wherever he happened to be. Jun had come to peace with this as part of the order of the universe. Nino was Nino, part of Arashi, the best part of Jun's life and therefore not expendable after all.

Jun frequently reassured himself that this was a very mature and zen perspective.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ILUSM ♥!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
HOW MUCH DO YOU OWE ME NOW?!

LOTS AND LOTS :-*

DAMN STRAIGHT
*cracks whip*

AHHHHHHHHHHHH I SAW THE TITLE AND GOT SO EXCITED
NINO/JUN :9
AND HIPS
AND
AND
AND
❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤

OH THANK GOD SOMEBODY ELSE LIKES IT
I AM SO GLAD
♥!

YES
I LOVE IT
YOU SHOULD WRITE MORE

I read the first sentence and knew this would be worth it. Nino is the monkey wrench in Jun's well made plans ♥.

Jun knows EXACTLY how his life should go, but everyone else, alas, slept through the briefing. His life is SO HARD.
♥!
So glad you enjoyed it!

meeweeewwew!
ohmy, Nino and Jun in utter hip-land perfectness!
looooove it!

What a nice compliment! Thank you! Glad you loooooved it!

Also, your icon cracks me up every time I see it. SHO YOU DORK

Made of win and wit and sarcasm.

Just how I like it.

(DoS, yes, very.)

Thank you, very much.
I'd been thinking of Matsumiya a lot lately.

(bows)

You're welcome! I am very glad you liked it!

I love Nino and Jun together because they are like... uh. What are those rocks that you bash together to make sparks? Flint! They are like that.

^-^

Exactly. sparks fly from the aggressiveness between them. LOL.

May I offer you something? Kidneys, souls, first-born children?

I, pretty much, want to have this fic's babies.

Love is good? (Kindeys and children don't taste good at all, and souls are so hard to transport.)

Glad you liked it! ♥

And when Jun bit his lip at the camera while Aiba, shirtless, slid his hand down Jun's side and rested it against the band of Jun's slipping D&G's, well, Nino wore such a look of innocent, benevolent peace that every instinct in Jun's head screamed DANGER.

This.

You.

*flails wordlessly*

Ah-ha, flailing, I enjoy a good flail!
*flails with you*

Thank you! ♥

I--

You--

This.

♥♥♥

Amongst other lines (ie., most of it), this one;
"[...] he sourly decided that the next time someone asked him what Nino's secret was, Jun was going to just answer "Ohno""
cracked me up so much.

I love bastard!Nino and you've portrayed him so amazingly perfectly.
And the last line! *.* ♥

Edited at 2008-03-24 09:23 am (UTC)

The thing about Nino is that, no matter what the situation, he is always looking for an angle. It makes it impossible to catch him flat-footed, the bastard! Just one of the many things to love about him.

♥ ♥ ♥
So glad you enjoyed it!!

Edited at 2008-03-25 06:53 am (UTC)

god, i love you for this.

the last sentence killed me!


...


i LOVE those two! nino and jun and HIPS! *nyaaahahahaha*

The fact that Nino still lives is CLEARLY a sign of some sort of higher existance on Jun's part. CLEARLY.

Glad you liked it!

wit and sarcasm and ... Jun and Nino! Hee! I'd pick out my favourite bits but that would be blocks of syntax!

a....aaand Ohno is EVERTYBODY's secret ne! *hearts*

Wonderfully written!

You know that Nino just has to tilt his chin at Ohno from across the whole Dome and Ohno somehows knows he is supposed to obstruct Jun. HOW DO THEY DO IT??

Glad you enjoyed!

Edited at 2008-03-25 06:44 am (UTC)

A+++!!!

HA! I get the rainbow hearts AND Nino's sexy abs! HAHAHA!

Thanks for the comment! Rainbow hearts are also A+++. ♥

OMG
OMG!
AAAAAAHHHH HOORAY
[explodes with JOY]

poor Jun. ONLY NOT SO MUCH.

A WINNAR IS YOU ♥ ♥
thanks; memming.

[tapes your exploded bits tenderly back together]

JUN NOT SO MUCH INDEED. YOU KNOW HE LOVES IT.

COMMENTS LIKE THESE MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WINNAR. THANK YOU! ♥

Hehehe... Evil Nino + Ohno cohort = happy ohmiya_sg. :D

happy ohmiya_sg = happy blueandflawless! \o/

♥!

Edited at 2008-04-07 12:14 am (UTC)

Nino/Jun -- a fairly rare but oh-so-delectable delicacy. Wait, "delicacy" doesn't really work with these two.

A delectable spice.

This is getting a hardcore memming, yes it is. ♥

Hee, not so much with the delicate, yes! But absolutely spicy!

Glad you liked it! ♥

sometimes i think about giving up on reading jun/nino fics because most are just really bad. but then i come across gems like this and i'm glad i keep rading despite many traumatizing experiences. :DDDDDDD

I'm glad you tried this one, and really glad you liked it! They are SO ENTERTAINING together! ♥

(Anonymous)
aksdlkfja;lkf
'scuse my lack of an LJ name, please.
but I have to just tell you, I <3 this and I don't even LIKE Matsumiya normally. You write with a sharp wit. More please~

I <3 this comment, whoever you are! Glad you liked it! ♥

wah i can't believe i almost missed this! *_* super fantastic!

I'm glad you din't miss something you liked, too! Thank you! ♥

The steady diet of performance adrenaline combined with the constant threat of very public embarrassment from Nino's quarter left Jun a quivering ball of nerves every night, and no amount of herbal bath infusions or scented candles seemed to help. Jun dreamed of being on camera, trying to act with a ferret down his pants.

STILL laughing. Ferret is perfect for Nino. Rat doesn't quite get to his blend of 7 parts mischief, 2 evil and one part squirmy cuddliness.

I really enjoyed this one, even though I usually avoid this pairing for the pure evil:) Thanks!


Hee!

'Fox' was also up for consideration but lacked the requisite evil persona, I thought. Also, one part squirmy/cuddly seems about right!

Glad you enjoyed it! ♥
(After visiting your journal, am now wondering what I missed, vis-à-vis grammer and punctuation.)

Re: Hee!

(Anonymous)
It's ok; I don't bite, really. I probably shouldn't have

a) read any fic just after grading papers from a remedial writing course, or
b) posted on my journal afterwards.

But again, I really enjoyed reading this and hope to see more in the future!

I hope it's ok; I friended you back!


Re: Hee!

umm . . . the above was mine. I guess that's obvious.

But I didn't at all mean to cause anxiety:) fic = ♥

Re: Hee!

ROFL she's like your evil twin. XD *went and looked at her journal too*

I'm so late!!!!


But I really like this. Nino = WIN. . . and Jun can't deny it. XD

I AM EVEN LATER AT RESPONDING, UGH
SORRY!
But I am glad you liked it! And appreciate that you took the time to tell me so!
♥!

Nino's bitchy is the reason Jun loves him. Jun thinks boring people are boring.

urg, comment fail

So I've memoried this fic and periodically come back to reread it (wow, over a year already) and yeah, I really ought to write something this time around, given how much I flail about it whenever I read it. :D

I love your Jun, the way he plays straight man to Nino's ferrety, weaselly antics. His life is so hard. T_T I adore the Ohmiya telepathic evil, so many authors forget that Ohno is evil, evil, evil and wonderfully so.

Also, this part?
But when it suddenly clicked in Jun's mind that Nino had stopped biting his nails, on purpose, the better to torment Jun with all Jun's painful patience was at an end. Jun whirled on Nino, advancing inexorably until he was trapped by Jun's forearms against the nearest wall. Jun smiled a smile that had nothing to do with happiness and leaned slowly in until his mouth was against Nino's ear.

"Is this the reaction you were looking for, Nino-chan?"

The silence from three startled bandmates, four cameramen, two sound guys, one cohost, two guest-stars, the director, and an entire studio audience was deafening. Jun could feel Nino's grin against his jaw, and Nino's thigh nudging just slightly.

"I think I can work with it."


It is delicious.

And your last line, heeeeee. <3

I don't suppose you post or centralize your fic anywhere besides jent_fanfics and the odd fic contest? Because I tried to find what else you'd written after seeing your name pop up in the fivesome contest, remembered only this, and otherwise came up empty (my stalker-fu is weak, I suppose).

Oh~! So good~! I love this work~!

I don't have enough vocabulary to tell you how much I love it~! >///

?

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